Business Cats is a video made by Filmcow, released on August 21, 2012 and being 2:24 in running time. It follows Declan, a jerkish superior of a large business, chastising one of his workers Edmund for working averagely, unlike Boo Boo, an extremely mysterious and unusual co-worker who heavily and efficiently performs his work.
(The video opens with a cat, Edmund, sitting in his office. His superior, Declan, walks his way into the room.)
- DECLAN: Edmund, we need to have a little chat. Is now a good time?
- EDMUND: Oh, hello sir, of course.
- DECLAN: Meow, good! Well, bad. Your performance this quarter has been awful, you terrible cat, hiss.
- EDMUND: Come on Declan, this quarter has been hard for all of us!
- DECLAN: I want you to think about something, Edmund. Can you do that for me?
- EDMUND: Uh, sure.
- DECLAN: I want you to think about getting your ass handed to you by premium investments.
- EDMUND: Oh, come on, wh-!
- DECLAN: Are you thinking about it? Are you picturing your severed ass in their nimble paws being ceremoniously handed over? Because they torn it off last quarter, Edmund.
- EDMUND: You don't have to be so-
- DECLAN: Do you see it, Edmund? The red banners hanging from the walls of their majestic banquet hall, meow?
(everything Declan imagines is visually displayed)
- DECLAN: The beautiful streamers lining the ceiling gracefully draped over the chandeliers, meow? All of premium investment's far more talented brokers gathered row by row in their finest robes to celebrate your fuzzy ass being handed to you, meow?
- EDMUND: Declan, this isn't fair! No one is doing well this quarter. The whole market is suffering.
- DECLAN: Boo Boo is up on all of his accounts.
- EDMUND: Yeah, well, Boo Boo creeps me out.
- DECLAN: Boo Boo is a wonderful cat and one of this company's greatest assets.
- EDMUND: So he doesn't creep you out?
- DECLAN: I don't want to discuss this, Edmund. But you could learn a lot from Boo Boo.
- EDMUND: Is he even here? I haven't seen him in like a week.
(One of Edmund's filing cabinet drawers shoot open and Boo Boo pops out of it)
- BOO BOO: Meeeooowwww.
- DECLAN: ....okay, he's a little creepy.
- EDMUND: Why were you in my filing cabinet?
- BOO BOO: I am occasionally in drawers.
- DECLAN: Boo Boo, uh, Edmund hasn't been doing all that great this quarter. I was hoping you could set him on the right path, that sorta thing.
(Boo Boo jumps up on Edmund's desk and stretches)
- BOO BOO: Declan. We should really hit the park some time.
- DECLAN: Uh, s-sure. Alright.
(Boo Boo has his tail wrapped around a pencil)
- BOO BOO: Edmund. This pencil represents death.
- EDMUND: Uh huh.
(Boo Boo then begins drawing on the wall)
- BOO BOO: I find drawing to be quite relaxing.
- DECLAN: Are you listening, Edmund? This is possibly important stuff.
- BOO BOO: Whenever I draw Declan, he ends up with a lamb face. I wish I knew why.
- EDMUND: Lamb face, huh?
- BOO BOO: My heart stopped pumping itself a few hours ago. I've had to keep it going manually with my mind.
- EDMUND: Wow.
- DECLAN: Do you need us to call a doctor or something?
- BOO BOO: No. I'm gonna go to the park and hunt mice. Then, perhaps, things will seem clearer.
- DECLAN: Okay. Well. You do what you need to do.
- BOO BOO: I hope you figure out your lamb face, Declan.
(Boo Boo jumps out of the large open window.)
- EDMUND: I feel....weird.
- DECLAN: Yeah.
(A "LATER THAT NIGHT" title card pops up)
- Narrator: Later that night at Declan's house...
(Declan's eyes are closed shut.)
- DECLAN: (in his head) Just look into the mirror, Declan. It'll be fine. Just open your eyes and look into the mirror.
(Declan's eyes shoot open, and when he looks at himself in the mirror, his face is replaced with a lamb's.)
- DECLAN: Aww.