The French Spatula: Hello monsier, I welcome you,
You are in New France!
We sing and laugh each in this
Country of romance.
Here have some cheese, pea soup, some wine,
Or a nice soufle.
Come with me, there's much to see,
While you're in New France.
Edward: Why on Earth don't these chicks ever shave?
Oh why oh why must such a place like this be my grave?
I must now find a way to leave this land-
The French Spatula: Not a chance!
You are stuck here for eternity, stuck here in New France!
We surrendered to Italtians, and twice to Germany.
But eventually they left-
Edward: Because your country smells like pee.
The French Spatula: So maybe we can't win a war,
But hey, we make great wine!
Here try a glass, it's good I swear,
The taste is quite divine.
We know the latest fashions,
And our art is quite insane.
We love to hang in coffee shops
And talk about our pain.
The world may think us snotty,
But that's also very wrong.
If you'd admit that we're superior,
I'm sure we'd get along.
Edward: I can't stand being here,
I want to cry.
If I hear "Oh ho ho" just one more time
I'll surely die!
I'm sure that France would be quite nice
if they kill off the French!
The French Spatula: Well you are stuck here for a zillion years
So get used to the stench.
You have to stay for your afterlife and say,